I see a lot of queries for manuscripts, but one sort of query drives me absolutely nuts. This kind of query is written with a barely contained e!x!c!i!t!e!m!e!n!t! about … not the story or the manuscript itself, but about the author’s fully envisioned marketing and merchandizing plan.
Yes, the writer informs me, there is this children’s book manuscript, but that is only the first step. Following quickly on the heels of publication—or maybe at the same time—will be the licensed video game, the bed sheets, the mugs, the T-shirts, the cocoa flavor, the branded colonic, the weekly sitcom, the Nike shoe endorsement, the star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and so much money and glory showering down upon the writer and—if I am wise enough to seize this opportunity—me, that we will never have to work again.
I wish all good luck for that writer, but I sincerely doubt any of it will come to pass. Because this writer clearly doesn’t give a damn about story, or kids, or good writing; she is all about the big dream of a huge payday to end all paydays. Such people never write good books. They write something, sure, but not good books. And whatever it is they’ve written, I don’t want to see it.